Getting Every Flames Player A Secret Santa Gift

With the Christmas break finally here, we thought I’d be a fun little excersize to have each of us get Secret Santa gifts for a few of the Flames. Here’s what each of us chose for three Flames that were randomly selected.

Michael

• Derek Ryan - An underdog mask because he’s been counted out so many times in his career, but has become a big piece of the Flames. Once again he’s been a solid contributor and strengthened the Flames bottom six this year.
• Michael Frolik - A utility belt. He’s played up and down the lineup and fits in well on the PK and even on the PP if needed.
• David Rittich - A statue, lots of steak, a lifetime supply of free Coca-Cola? Whatever the man wants, he gets.

Mark

• Mark Giordano- A Shooter Tutor. The Captain seems to shoot everything 6-15 feet wide of the net. Time to get some practice in ‘Cap.
• Andrew Mangiapane- A permanent spot next to Matthew Tkachuk. Don’t care what line it is, I just want them together forever and never to part.
• Dillon Dube- A mustache conditioning kit. That lip caterpillar is AMAZING and it needs the care and attention it deserves. (This was written before he shaved it. REGROW THAT THING!)

Maddie

• Mark Jankowski- Because I can’t literally buy Jankowski a goal, how about like... a hug? A tin of homemade cookies? This season, and subsequently much of the fan base and media, hasn’t been kind to him, and that has to weigh on you, so he deserves a bit of extra sweetness. He gets something homemade, with love.
• Sam Bennett- Some kind of fancy mustache and beard wash/moisturizer situation, like the Kalamazoo wash from Lush (not an ad, but I don’t have a beard and I like Lush’s stuff and and this was the only one I could think of). I’m assuming it’s nice and our very own Lanny McDonald 2.0 deserves nothing less. And so it doesn’t look like I’m just copying Mark’s gift for Dube, he can have some of Jankowski’s cookies too.
• Milan Lucic- A nice calming tea. I appreciate the jam and physicality that he brings to games, but I’d also be happy if he could pump the brakes a smidge and stopped short of trying to murder anyone else. So, a bit of calming tea to take the edge off.

Gordon

• Mikael Backlund - A soft shoulder to cry on. With just four goals on 76 shots this season, he has struggled to find the back of the net. He snapped an 18 game goalless streak in Dallas and was the only Flame forward to not record a single point during the 7 game win streak.
• Sean Monahan - A gourmet quadruple toaster, because we can’t deny the man his toast.
• Oliver Kylington - Any other jersey numbers available? 58 is kind of a strange number.

Milhouse Firehouse

• T.J. Brodie - A Happy And Healthy New Year! Seriously, no more scary incidents at practice, please.
• Elias Lindholm - A professional modelling gig, because sometimes there isn’t more to life than being really, really, exceptionally good looking. #BlueSteel
• Noah Hanifin - Haircare products, because that flow is getting excellent and it needs to be on display when it’s not being barely-obscured underneath a helmet.

Renu

• Cam Talbot - A snow globe with a figurine of himself in it. The man deserves a trophy.
• Matthew Tkachuk - This one was easy. A pink baby soother mouthguard like the Seahawks’ DK Metcalf.
• Tobias Rieder - Spiderman pyjamas with matching socks. For no reason really, but I think he’ll like them.

Shane

• Travis Hamonic — I gave him a hug, from all the countless kids and family’s he’s brought to games since he got here. Hammer’s huge in the community, and a decent player on the ice. He deserves the big smiles this Christmas.
• Rasmus Andersson - He’s getting a really fancy pen to sign that nice big contract he’s lining himself up for everytime he steps on the ice. Rasmus gonna get PAID
• Johnny Gaudreau - I got it for him a bit early, but I gave Johnny a stick he used from last year so Johnny G can recapture the magic he had during his 99 point season. Break out those dangle bud!