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Flames sign Deryk Engelland to by far the worst deal of free agency because truculence or something else stupid

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And we were doing so well.

GET IT BECAUSE HE'S TRUCULENT
GET IT BECAUSE HE'S TRUCULENT
Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

Because apparently the presences of Brian McGrattan, Brandon Bollig, David Wolf, Bryce Van Brabant, and whatever else weren't nearly enough, the Flames have decided their quota for beyond useless players wasn't anywhere close to being filled. That's why they decided to gift Deryk Engelland, the 32-year-old formerly of the Pittsburgh Penguins, to a three year deal worth an ANNUAL AVERAGE VALUE of $2.9 million.

Yes that's right Deryk Engelland's total salary with the Flames is going to amount to $8.7 million.

Deryk Engelland, who couldn't make the NHL regularly until he was 28 years old, but at least he was dirt cheap while doing so.

Not that the contract matters that much - the Flames probably aren't going to be doing a single thing of note over these next three years (well, especially not now) - but Brian Burke's philosophy is out of control and the man needs to be reigned in immediately.

Look. Engelland is bad. There's no way to slice this. He can play defence or forward and he'll probably play defence with the Flames and he'll do it very, very poorly.

His CF% last year was 43.8%. On a good team. His CF% rel was -5.2%. He's bad. He's very, very bad. Maybe Jonas Hiller should reconsider his signing? I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore. It's not surprising that this stupidly pointlessly overly truculent team (somebody please tell me when was the last time a truculent team did shit) targeted Engelland, but that contract. makes. no. sense. Especially after the Flames nailed it with their previous two signings of the day.

I just don't know, guys. None of us will ever know.

Godspeed in your development, Tyler Wotherspoon. Godspeed.