Trashing on the Pacific Time Zone Senators

Today, something beautiful was born. That something is “Pacific Time Zone Senators“, a new name for the Vancouver Canucks. Sam of Second City hockey has written the most amazing eulogy of Vancouver yet- one that puts my angry and bitter and pretty unfunny one to shame. Hell, it’s so good it’s making me angry and bitter.

As Hayley put it:

What I'm trying to say is- go read it. Now.

What, still not convinced? Fine. Here's a terrific excerpt.

Keith Ballard? Ah, he was going to really add to things too, wasn’t he? And I’ll bet he did. No one attacks the pressbox spread like Keith Ballard. Everyone knows this.

What else can you learn? Your midseason acquisitions won’t redefine the sport either. Oh you Canadian media, you try so hard. It’s kind of adorable. Picking up Maxim Lapierre, you made it seem like Guy Carboneau was cloned and brought back to his younger years. And yet when the Ducks acquired him, it considered a case of Anaheim just wanting yet another piece of trash. Hmmm. Chris Higgins? The man with a picture in the post office in New York and Montreal? He was the difference? God, that is some really good stuff you have in the bong, isn’t it?

Go read this. NOW.

by Arik Knapp