Christmas time in Flames-land

With the holiday break here, free time is abound, and not a moment too soon. The Flames have taken two of the upper echelon teams and given them an “L” on back to back nights. How this happened is beyond me. It also screws up my whole ‘Pissing me off for Yakupov’ catchphrase.

In order to get into a better mood, I've re-written some songs to help cheer me up. Its kind of like Glee, but the Community (R.I.P.) version. Now, I'm no Ke$ha, but I think they're decent. Send me a tweet (@DownGoesLuongo), or throw a comment down below and share your thoughts.

(White Christmas) I’m Dreaming of a high Draft Pick

I’m dreaming of a hiiiiigh draft pick

Just like the Oilers get to know.

Where our top line glistens,

And children will

chant ‘Go Flames Go’

I’m dreaming of a high draft pick,

Which makes our future ever so bright,

May our cupboards be full, and set us right

May all our draft picks be high (for a year or two)

Oh Christmas Tree (Oh Sven Bartchi)

O Sven Bärtchi, O Sven Bärtchi

The hope that you bring me

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtschi,

Here’s to seeing you in 20-13

WHen you were picked, I was scared,

Another wasted pick, why should I care?

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

The hope that you bring me,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

As I watch you on the tube,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

You remind me of a future Loob,

WHen have our drafts ever worked?

They’ll rob a store, like a dumbass jerk

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

The passes you make enlighten me.

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Your future shines so brightly

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Your future shines so brightly

From Switzerland, not known to fight,

You’ve come and made out future bright,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Your future shines so brightly,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Thank god Dumba hasn’t decked thee,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Thank god Dumba hasn’t decked thee,

Feaster picked, and I doubted he,

What do I know, oh stupid me,

O Sven Bärtschi, O Sven Bärtchi

Your future shines so brightly.

12 Days of Christmas (12 Stages of this year’s Flames-mas)

On the first stage of Christmas my team gave to me, a Flames over Nucks victory

On the second stage of Christmas my team gave to me, 2 Bourque penalties

On the third stage of Christmas my team gave to me, 3 useless goons,

On the fourth stage of Christmas my team gave to me, 4 young kids,

On the fifth stage of Christmas my team gave to me, W by Leland Irving,

On the sixth stage of Christmas my team gave to me, Jackman sent out preying,

On the seventh stage of Christmas, my team gave to me, 23 Flames a-winning,

On the eighth stage of Christmas, my team gave to me, Canucks sent a-sulking

On the ninth stage of Christmas, my team gave to me, Sedins turning Nancy again,

On the tenth stage of Christmas, my team gave to me, 20,00 fans fans screaming

On the eleventh stage of Christmas, my team gave to me, Scoreface sniping,

On the twelfth stage of Christmas my team gave to me, a Bieksa thumping

Silent Night (In the Dome)

Silent Night, Boring night,

All is calm, noone awake in sight

‘Round here, Flames and Preds

Everyone watching, wishing they’re dead.

Why weren’t these tickets for free?

Why weren’t these tickets for free?

Silent night, Boring night,

Mother of god, please turn off the light,

This game going at a boring pace,

Not even heroin beer puts a smile on my face,

Jesus, god, take me off this earth,

Jesus, god, take me off this earth,

*Guitar solo*

Silent night, Boring Night,

Lemaire creams at this sight,

Fans scream from lands afar,

Please let this game end now,

Please let the game be done?

Only the first period is done…

Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer (Stajan, the worthless Flamer)

You know Kruser, Fata, Cassels and Thompson

You know Krahn, Leeman, Titov and Bassen

But do you recall,

the worst Flame of them all?

Stajan, the worthless Flamer,

Is a very easy foe,

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say he blows.

All of the other teams,

all laugh and call him names,

If you think yours is bad,

You should cheer for the Flames.

It all started a foggy winters eve’,

Burkie came to say,

Darryl with your ass so tight,

I’m taking Dion without a fight

And now we’re stuck with him,

Going through misery

Could have turned out better,

But it rivals Gilmour in history.

DGL

by Travis Hilliard