A lot of things go into the selections at the NHL draft- especially in the top rounds: skating, hockey sense, puck skills, size, speed, mullet-a-bility; but if NHL writers picked draftees, only one thing would matter: how awesome of a headline can their name make?
Below are the top 20 North American skaters and the top 10 European skaters followed by a pun, a rating (1-5) for their Headline Potential. Enjoy!
|1||YAKUPOV, NAIL||NAIL'D IT||3||Good pun, but it's limited (and a bit obvious)|
|2||MURRAY, RYAN||MURRAY UP AND SCORE||2||Eh.|
|3||GRIGORENKO, MIKHAIL||MIKHAIL TO THE VICTORS||1||Rough.|
|4||GALCHENYUK, ALEX||GALCHENYUK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU||3||Potential is there, but it's tough.|
|5||RIELLY, MORGAN||OH REILLY? | MORGANSMIC||3||Good with some stretching|
|6||CECI, CODY||EASY AS A, B, CECI||4||Love it. Want it.|
|7||FAKSA, RADEK||FAKSA GUN IN THE WEST||3||Potential of it being ruined by BSG fans|
|8||MAATTA, OLLI||OLLI THING THAT MAATA'S||5||One of my favorites this year|
|9||TROUBA, JACOB||THEY'RE IN TROUBA!||4||
Only works with "trouble" and "tuba",
but that opens a lot of options
|10||REINHART, GRIFFIN||ALL 'HART||3||Effective, but too obvious. Esp. with brothers|
|11||DUMBA, MATHEW||SHEER DUMBA LUCK||4||Not flexible, but the word it does work with is.|
|12||POULIOT, DERRICK||HE AND POULIOT DOWN BY THE SCHOOLYARD||2||The best I have is a Paul Simon song. Yikes.|
|13||GAUNCE, BRENDAN||GUANCE WITH THE WIND||3||Worth it, even if it can only be used once.|
|14||SISSONS, COLTON||SHARP AS SISSONS||2||Looks like it'd work, doesn't actually|
|15||WILSON, THOMAS||(Anything Castaway related)||2||Two headlines and the Castaway thing gets old|
|16||FINN, MATTHEW||FINN-ALLY||4||Finn can work in a lot of things- especially if he goes to SJ|
|17||MATTEAU, STEFAN||IT MATTEAU'D TO HIM||3||It's like a lesser version of Olli Maata|
I have no idea in what context you could use that,
but I want it to happen
|19||SKJEI, BRADY||SKJEI IT AIN'T SO!||5||
The best part about this one is the confusion it'd cause;
Skjei is pronounced "Shay"
|20||FRK, MARTIN||FRK'N AWESOME||4||
Great for puns and headlines, only
thing holding it back from a 5 is the obviousness of it
|1||FORSBERG, FILIP||FORSBERG, FOR THE WIN||2||Kind of a stretch|
|2||TERAVAINEN, TEUVO||THE TERAVAINEN OF THE ICE | PTERAVAINEN STRIKES||4||Love it.|
|3||COLLBERG, SEBASTIAN||HOT AND COLLBERG||2||It works, but it's nothing special.|
|4||LINDHOLM, HAMPUS||WHAT'S HAMPUS'N?||3||Entertaining, not much of a use for it|
|5||HERTL, TOMAS||HOW MUCH DOES THAT HERTL?||4||
Gives you "hurt" plus "hurtle".
And if you stretch it, "heart"
|6||ABERG, PONTUS||POINTS FOR PONTUS||2||It works, but it's not great|
|7||POKKA, VILLE||DO THE HOCKEY-POKKA||4||
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
But also irrelevant to hockey.
|8||BYSTROM, LUDWIG||LET BYSTROMS BE BYSTROMS||3.||Another great one...that's also a one and done.|
|9||PROKHORKIN, NIKOLAY||FRIED PROKHORKIN||2||It has potential, but you'd need to get creative.|
|10||SLEPYSHEV, ANTON||CAUGHT A-SLEPYSHEV||3||
You get two words to work with here: "Slepy" and "Shev".
Neither is great, but it gives you options.