An Open Letter to Canuck Fans

 To whom it may concern,

Well, you've reached the Stanley Cup Finals and are now just two wins away from hoisting the Stanley Cup, hockey's Holy Grail. Feels good doesn't it? 

Along the way, you've been proclaimed "Canada's Team" and every grandparent, aunt and uncle has jumped onto your bandwagon. Shit, I can't even eat at Boston Pizza anymore without being reminded of the fact that your amazing hockey team may just be Canada's first champion since 1993.

As I've been told by numerous people, "If you're not cheering for the Canucks, you're not Canadian." To them, I say: Fuck that.  Nothing would please me more than to see the Canucks fall apart at the seams and self-destruct against Boston. 

I consider myself a fairly rational hockey fan and it is weird I now find myself with a level of resentment toward a hockey team I have never harboured before. As such, I have thought long and hard about why the Canucks have brought out these feelings in myself. 

I don't think I am alone here, so please let me know if any of this hits home.

In my books, to be a champion, you must have a swagger. However, unless you are a champion, that level of swagger must be kept in check. What you have Vancouver, comes across as little more than...well, douchiness.

And oh my god, do you have douchiness, Vancouver. 

From Alex Burrows' ridiculous finger bite and consequent actions in game two to Ryan Kesler's huge fight win against Dennis Seidenberg in game three, so much of what you consider "gamesmanship" or "getting under their skin" or "answering the bell" is simply acting like a punk. Biting an opponent, or wrestling an opponent to the ground and then acting like you knocked Zdeno Chara the fuck out gets at me.

Don't get me wrong. Yes, your team is extremely good, Canuck fans. However, they are not the second coming of the Oilers of the 80's or the Canadiens of every decade prior. Right now, all you are is San Jose or Ottawa. 

This is not a coronation, this must be earned. 

Congratulations on exorcising your Blackhawk demons against a shell of the previous team (thanks to a horrible clearing attempt in OT after throwing away a 3-0 series lead), and it was sure nice to beat San Jose (on the luckiest goal in playoff history), but now your team finds itself in a war.

I don't know what exactly happened in game three following Aaron Rome's late headshot on Nathan Horton, but something did (and yes, it was a late headshot, but if you can't see that, then the rest of this is really just fodder for your "yeah, but" cannon anyways) and now the Bruins are here, and they owned your team for the rest of the game.

You can write it off as a one-off, that it was just one game, but what the rest of us saw was your team get de-pantsed on the biggest stage in hockey. Your boys got owned by a team playing like men, and when I actually get down to it, maybe that's what this all boils down to for me.

Your team is like the rich, spoiled brat who has every advantage in life and if they just shut up, put their head down and went to work, could do anything. Instead, they feel entitled to it. 

There is no entitlement in the game of hockey.

So with great interest, I await your teams response in Game 4 in Boston.  If they come out, play hard, and take it away from Boston...play like champions, then I will be among the first to stand up and salute them. However, if they continue to dive, whine, and look for excuses they will be left on the outside looking in.

And just for the record, I do realize the Flames are golfing, our organization is in a state of flux, our prospect cupboard is bare, we have way too many NMC's, and the future is bleak. 

I just objectively hate your team.

Love,
Burnie